Full Circle
by Roslin Fan
Summary: Rusty is sure it'll be easy to have two mothers once everything's official, but first he has to tell his biological mother, and that won't be easy...


Sharon entered the condo humming a little tune Rusty didn't recognize. She'd never hummed before. It sounded nice. She went right into the kitchen. A minute later, she sat next to him on the sofa with a glass of red wine. _Red wine_?! "What's with the red, Sharon? I've only ever seen you drink white."

"Felt like something different, I guess." She shrugged. "I filed the papers today."

"Oh."

She nodded. "That's the next step."

"What's it feel like? Any different?"

"Not really. Our marriage ended twenty years ago. This will just be a formality."

"And Ricky and Emily? Will they-"

"They grew up without their father. I don't see how this will change anything." He nodded. "Their relationship with Jack has always been between the three of them-"

"Except for when you made him call them."

She snorted. "I guess I changed the rules when he was under my roof. As I'm apt to do."

He groaned. "Tell me about it."

She laughed. "Anyway, the only difference is he'll probably hit _them_ up for loans instead of me. And I sincerely hope they'll say 'no'."

"Doesn't he work for some big firm now?"

"He's worked for big firms before. They don't usually keep attorneys who gamble and drink during company time."

Rusty nodded. "Oh, I guess not. Didn't he-"

"He's cleaned up before too." She took a sip. "But that - all of it - isn't my business any longer. It's just sad."

"That it didn't work out?"

"Well, that too. But before he murdered his brain cells, he was really something. And I can see glimmers of him sometimes, but mostly, he's just _gone_." She sighed. "When we were young I dreamed we'd be a team. A legal power couple taking LA by storm." She took another sip. "But you know, this is better. It's real at least."

He nodded. What else could he say?

She placed her glass on the coaster on the coffee table. "Anyway, you know what this means?"

"You'll be able to adopt me soon."

"You still want this, right?" She met his eyes.

He didn't blink. "Yeah, Sharon, of course. It's...nice." He shook his head. "I just - I gotta talk to my mother about it. Tell her, you know." She nodded. "And with school applications and finding a job and everything. It's...a lot."

"I understand completely." She tilted her head. "Take your time. Process everything. It's a lot for me too."

"Not in a bad way, right? I mean, do you still-"

"Rusty, I would have adopted you last year if I could have." He nodded. "I just understand it's a delicate balance, and I want - like you do - to get everything just right."

"You always do, Sharon." He stifled a yawn and said goodnight.

/

When the divorce was finalized, Sharon took him out to dinner, but he insisted on paying for dessert. She indulged him, and they each ate the house specialty pastry. Delicious.

"Is this what people do when they get divorced?" Rusty asked.

She shrugged. "I don't know. Never been divorced before. Maybe I should ask Lieutenant Provenza. Or one of his wives."

Rusty chuckled. "I can't imagine going through that so many times."

She shook her head. "Me neither. Once was more than enough," she said. "But you know, this is an important milestone. Not because of the dissolution of my marriage, but because of what's coming next."

"You gonna start playing the field?"

She laughed. "Oh, God. I wouldn't even know where to begin."

"Sure you do, Sharon. And see that guy over there?"

She started to turn.

"Don't look. Use your eyes. You know, you're a cop. Use your peripherals, I think Amy says."

"Oh, yes, okay. Which one am I looking for?"

"The one in the dark blue jacket."

"Okay. What about him?"

"He's been checking you out since we got here."

She blushed. "So…"

"Hey, relax, Sharon. I'm just trying to say you have game. Whenever you're ready, you know."

She smiled. "Thank you, Rusty. But I'm already with the best looking guy in the restaurant, and I couldn't be happier."

He chuckled. "You're just sayin' that cause you're...you're my mom."

"Doesn't make it any less true. Which reminds me, we have papers to sign."

"Papers? Oh, yeah. That's great. When do you think…"

"We're at the mercy of Judge Richwood's schedule now. Could be anytime."

"Cool. Uh, why Judge Richwood?"

"He and I go back a long time." She smiled. "He was the presiding judge over my first major IA case - a corruption ring throughout the department. He had just been appointed, and I had only been in IA for a few months. The situation was eye-opening for both of us." She hmmed. "We've enjoyed professional courtesy ever since."

"Oh, that's cool. I didn't know cops and judges could work together like that."

"We don't usually. But things work differently in IA," she said. "How do you like the strudel?"

"It's great. I didn't know food could taste like this."

She laughed. "You know what this means. We'll have to go out more often. Broaden your palate. But don't worry, we'll make sure you have plenty of hamburgers too."

/

When they got home, Sharon left the papers - with her signature - on the coffee table for him. She patted his shoulder and said, "Whenever you're ready."

_He_ was ready, but it wouldn't be fair to his mother to make a major decision like that without at least telling her, which he hadn't yet. Hadn't even seen her in weeks. He was a bad son to her, and if he held up the proceedings for Sharon, he would be a bad son to her too. He would have to bite the bullet, instead of clinging to _Badge of Justice_.

He had to be on the set - with everyone's coffee - before sunrise. They would be shooting a day-time crime scene or something. Whatever they did, it didn't look much like what Sharon and the Major Crimes team did, but whatever.

He changed for bed and lay down. He would have the afternoon off in a few days; he could see his mother then. She wouldn't understand. She would get angry. Say terrible things about Sharon. But then he would leave, and for once, he would know she would be there when he returned. This time, he has the power: He gets to leave, to decide when and for how long to visit. Their relationship, for the rest of their lives, is in his hands.

But that didn't mean it would be easy.

He fell asleep hearing her shrill screech about Sharon ruining everything - and not knowing how he would handle it.

/

A few mornings later, Jeff called. Apologetic about even asking, but… Rusty smiled into the phone. "Sure, man. I'd love the extra hours."

"Spoken like a future starving student," Jeff said.

"Yeah. Something like that."

He ended the call after Jeff thanked him profusely. Sharon came out of her bedroom, ready to leave for work. "What was that?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Jeff asked me to work late today. Something about an emergency." He rolled his eyes. "I guess for caffeine-addicted actors not having enough coffee could be an emergency."

She laughed. "The same is true for cops. Weren't you supposed to have time off today?"

"I'll get it another time. It's fine."

She nodded in that noncommittal way of hers that said she didn't agree with him but would let him make his own decision. He forced himself to ignore the feelings that nod dredged up. Spending the day with Jeff and his other friends on the set was preferable to spending the afternoon in the county jail. "Anyway, Sharon, have a good day. I'll try to be home for dinner."

She smiled. "Me too."

He nodded. "And before you ask, I haven't signed the papers yet." He put up his hands. "I will soon. I swear."

"Okay," she said. "We should go to our respective emergencies. Be safe. Be kind."

"Yeah, you too."

He held the door for her as she walked out. Then they rode in the elevator to the garage and walked to their separate cars. He let her pull out first: She didn't criticize his driving anymore, but he preferred not to have her as a passenger or to watch him drive. Maybe it was a mom thing.

His first mother hadn't been much of a driver herself. And she hadn't lodged any complaints when he had been eleven and had to drive her to the hospital. Not that she would have been able to, passed out in the backseat.

When there was enough distance, he pulled out.

/

He couldn't put it off any longer. Between Sharon's gentle prodding and his own guilt - it was time.

He padded into the living room. "Good morning."

He sat on the couch and started pulling on his sneakers.

"Good morning. Heading off to work?"

"If getting people their coffee orders and telling other people to be quiet while the camera is rolling is an actual job, then yes, I'm going to work. I'm part of the Hollywood glamour machine."

"Do you think _Badge of Justice _could spare you for a few hours? Judge Richwood said he can finalize the adoption this week."

"This week?" He couldn't meet her eyes for too long.

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"You'll have to finish all of your paperwork by then." It was the same tone she used for his school applications - the "Mom" tone. It was new to him.

"Yeah."

He hesitated too long, and she latched onto it.

"So what's the matter?"

"Nothing. Yeah, that's great. I, just, uh, haven't told my other mom what was happening yet."

"Oh, I see. I thought you were going to tell her a few months ago."

She wasn't thrilled with his answer, but she wasn't angry. She clearly wanted an explanation and deserved one. "The divorce was still pending, and I wasn't sure it would go through. Or something else would happen, and I'd get her all upset for nothing, and she'd end up high or drunk."

"That wouldn't be your fault."

She kept telling him that. So did Dr. Joe. But that didn't make it feel any better. "I know. It doesn't feel like it." He stood up and headed to the door, forcing a smile. "I'll ask my boss if I can have some time later this week to change mothers."

And he rushed off to work. Sharon would understand, even if his mother wouldn't, and it would be fine.

/

Jeff covered for him that afternoon, so Rusty drove to the County Jail. He took a deep breath and forced a smile as he sat in front of the bulletproof window separating him from his mother. She sat down a moment later - all smiles and gratitude. Their visits had always started like this, but he knew enough not to believe it would last.

He asked how she was. Probably not the best question to ask under the circumstances, but he wanted to know anyway. She didn't say so, but she blamed him for being there, and it was hard to remember that wasn't true.

She spoke of her daily routine, and then said how the routine and structure was good for her. Helping her. She'd said that about rehab too. How long had that lasted? Still, it was a positive sign that she at least recognized she needed help - even if she couldn't accept responsibility.

He must have been too deep in thought, because her face turned. "Is something wrong?" she asked.

It was time.

It went about as badly as he'd feared. She targeted Sharon, attempted to manipulate him - first by blaming him for being a bad son, then insinuating that he was weak enough to go along with whatever Sharon said. It may have been Sharon's idea, but that was only because Rusty wouldn't have thought of it, wouldn't have known to think about it. The longer he lived with Sharon, though, the more he wanted to stay there.

He'd thought finding his mother was the pinnacle, but the truth, which he'd tried so hard to bury from himself, was when she'd been gone, he'd stopped missing her so much. Then he'd force himself to remember, and the pain of her absence would return anew. Now he knew where she was, that she wouldn't be going anywhere for at least a year, and that he'd never live with her again.

Sharon would be his legal mother - this week! - and until he moved into his own place, he'd live with her, be part of her family, a real family that provided structure and support. His mother, his other mother, could never give him that. But Sharon said lots of kids have two mothers or two fathers. He already loved Sharon and his mother, so what difference did it make? He could love two moms.

Only his mother wasn't on board. At all. He choked back the urge to cry and stood. He left his mother with one last comment and walked away.

It hurt, but Sharon would say it was a necessary pain. Like divorcing Jack or something.

He went home ready to sign those papers once and for all.

/

He was just finishing up the papers when Sharon walked into the living room the next morning. He was struggling through the complicated legalese. Sharon had been right when she'd joked about the papers she'd had to sign for him to be part of the SI operation. He had no idea what he just read.

"I know it's long and legalistic, but all it means is we'll be a family."

She mentioned their latest case, how it showed her to what lengths people will go to have children, and how now she had another son she hadn't asked for - and how lucky that made her.

_Lucky?!_ He couldn't see how. He looked up from his papers and focused on her. She certainly _believed_ what she'd said. "Lucky? Sharon, I've mostly been nothing but trouble since I got here."

She met his eyes. "You can't possibly believe that, Rusty." Seeing he did, she said, "I'm not going to argue this with you right now. Just know it's a miracle to have you, and I'm thankful for it every day."

He looked back at the papers. It didn't matter what they said. If they meant he and Sharon would be a family, that's all he cared about. He signed at the bottom of the last page. Burst off the couch with the packet and handed it to her. "Here," he said. "One day, Sharon, I swear I'll give you a reason to be proud of me."

Her gaze was a combination of confusion and love. "Oh my God, Rusty. I'm already so proud of you."

He couldn't handle her love on top of his mother - it was an overload of emotions that he needed to process. So he headed to work.

Maybe when it was finally official, it would be easier.

/

He wore the same suit as he had to the preliminary hearing for the trial. He shook off the memories associated with that. It was time to create a new memory with his "new" family.

Sharon sat next to him, and the rest of the team crowded Judge Richwood's office. He didn't seem to mind, though. He clearly liked Sharon and the team and was happy to see everyone under positive circumstances for a change.

Judge Richwood didn't belabor the point. He asked them each, using their full legal names, if they agreed to the terms of the adoption. He asked them if they had any questions, and when they said they didn't, he said they were a legal family according to the state of California.

Then it was all hugs, handshakes, and cheek kisses. And there was nowhere he would rather have been.

He just wished his mother had been as lucky as he'd been to have a family like this.


End file.
